no way au lait

2010 Arrives and time allows for loaves

2010-01-29T08:40:00.000-08:00

The sun is out in full force, with sprinkles of snow blowing around outside never staying in one place. Cold can be so dry. Crisp. Brittle. So many words that make me thirsty and send me to the couch with tea and a big blanket.

But alas I can't do that every day.

With the new year rolling over, many changes have made their way into our routines. The largest of which I feel is the parking of my car and commuting to work. I am walking more, I am thinking more, I am eating breakfast at work! That last part is because I get to work 30 mins before my shift due to the bus schedule, so I allow myself this time to slowly enjoy my breakfast, drink tea and write in my journal or read.

So here is a breakfast idea, for those like me who pack breakfast for the road. Don't be tempted by Tim Horton's cakey ploppy muffins, or Starbucks rich and heavy loaves. This recipe has never turned out bad, ever, no matter what substitutions I have made. Just remember when making substitutions, always substitute a solid for a solid or a liquid for a liquid, etc.

Mornings Glory Mini Loaves

DRY:
1 1/4 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup rolled oats
1/4 cup bran (i used ground flax)
1 cup brown sugar (I used 3/4 cup xylitol)
2 tsp baking soda
2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp salt

Wet:
3 eggs
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2/3 cup mashed banana (about 2 bananas)
2 cups grated carrot
1 apple, peeled and grated
1/2 cup raisins (i used dried cranberries)
1/2 chopped dried apricots (i used chopped dried dates)
1/2 cup shredded, unsweetened, coconut
3 tbsp flax seeds (i used a combination of sunflower and pumpkin seeds)

Preheat Oven to 350 degrees F
Combine dry ingredients

In another bowl combine wet ingredients

Dump dry into wet and fold/stir until just combined. Batter will be very thick.

Let batter rest while oiling mini loaf pan (or muffin pan)

Spoon batter into pan and bake for 23-27 mins. (every oven is different)

A new name, same direction

2010-01-01T09:30:00.000-08:00

No Way Au Lait was a title that made me smile. It described the exclusion I had made from all my cooking, but this year, I want to also add my committment to not eating animal protein. It has been about 2 or 3 years now since the shock of learning the meat industries carbon footprint urked me into never consuming a single cow, pig, chicken, sheep, goat, turkey, duck.... ever again.

We are what we eat, we are what we think, we are what we do.

And so this blog will now be named

Food without the Moo!

Theres no shame in a Birthday

2009-07-13T14:51:00.000-07:00

How did I get here?
Today.
This City.
At this table.
In these pants.
With this job.
Liking this food.

With the haircut!

Wow, I have changed over the years, and that's what its all about!

Birthdays should never be lied about, or pushed aside. Its one day, only one, where you rein supreme over all that is. This is your day, the only one that you can mark on a calendar as the first day of your next turn around the sun.

This is it, we have time on earth. And time is reflected in dates, and time is counted in years. YEARS............................OLD..........................YEARS...........................OLD

Why do people not like birthdays? Maybe because on this day you will undoubtedly be asked...

How OLD are you?

This is how I see it. One day, long ago, some crazy women decided that with each passing day they were one step closer to hopping on the Ugly Bus. The only way to avoid this non-stop ride to Ugly Town was to lie about their age, because if anyone knew their REAL age, they would have to pack it in and die right there. I know, I know, the logic is flawless but its all the lies I just can't live with! (Cue the laughing track now)

OK, maybe its just a flaw in the space time continuum that some how sucks the 'Happy Birthday' out of the memories of these helpless ladies and replaces it with 'Fear the Birthday'

JULY 15, 1983

That is the day I was born and therefore I am having a PARTY. You may think "Well you're in the prime of your life of course you don't care who knows how old you are, just wait until you are my age (still not disclosing their age) then lets see how excited you are about your Birthday"

Oh Negative Nancy, when will you ever learn!

coming back from oblivion

2009-06-15T16:25:00.001-07:00

Toronto Island "Bike For Africa"

So Steve and I have moved to a great new apartment, settled in, and FINALLY got our laptop back! We moved into this fantatic place with 'Free High Speed' Internet but alas!

That isn't to say I haven't been busy!

Murder Mystery Night, I am Countess Von Orlock

Climbing at Rattlesnake Conservation

Toronto Island "Bike For Africa"

self sufficient dough

2009-04-04T09:05:00.000-07:00

I was given a bread making machine.
It sat on the floor in the bedroom, propping the door open.
I read the cookbook that came with it.
I bought the yeast.
Yet there it sat.

There are so many things I want to do, so many things I think about, and I can't seem to fit them in between the things I need to do everyday. Like dishes, laundry, eating, sleeping, you know.

But with our new apartment almost in our hands, there is a feeling of excitement in the air, the feeling that anything is possible. We feel like we will be freshening up our lives in this new apartment, but that really stems from how our perspective has changed.

Steve is changing jobs, finally finding that niche where he loves to work, loves it so much, he doesn't even call it work. And you know what they say, "When you find something you love to do, you will never work another day in your life" He has found this, in Yoga.

I just like change. Controllable, foreseeable change, mind you. I like to start new and fresh, switch up the old routine. The biggest perk of a new apartment is INTERIOR DESIGN! Different colours schemes, different placement of pictures and furniture. Because if you live in a small apartment you know very well that you are limited to where you can place your furniture, functionally.

So with a hallway full of empty collapsed boxes and an apartment scattered with full boxes, It felt like the time to sit and relax to the churning sounds of a bread maker. I started with Pizza Dough, if it turns out, I'll move to bigger and better things like Cinnamon bread and Hot cross bun dough.

I'd never used a bread machine before, and I felt like the instruction booklet wasn't holding my hand enough. It just felt too easy. Pour wet in, dump dry in, sprinkle in yeast, select dough setting, press start..... "2 hours later you will have dough" the book tells me. I wanted to ask the book to send my love to the machine.

It is nice to know that I make almost everything that we eat. I buy pre-made pie crusts (making sure its made with vegetable shortening and not lard) I buy soy yogurt, canned soups and beans, rice cheese, almond milk and soy protein items. But otherwise we stock the fridge and pantry with whole ingredients and start from scratch every meal of the day.

I was given an Ice cream machine for Christmas, a digital Crock Pot for my Birthday and now a bread maker, watch out, I'm a cooking machine... or the machines are cooking machines.

so I made a pizza

and topped it off
fresh pineapple, marinated tofu, tomato sauce, mushrooms, sun dried tomato's, fresh spinach, rice cheese, brushetta spice

baked it and sliced it up

and ate it

Start to finish, full circle, I made the whole thing! I love it!

If my cooking machines took over the world, I think I might have to serve them blindly.

A blurb from one of my favourite Bloggers

2009-03-10T09:00:00.000-07:00

"But cooking — the process of thoughts throughout the afternoon of what to make, the slow chopping, the simmering, the dreaming? That’s almost better than eating. Tackling a new recipe and then taping it into my giant black notebook, because I certainly want make that one again — that made me feel more capable than my job ever did. For years, the stove was my sustenance, the place I skipped to after a long day of teaching, or on Sunday afternoons instead of grading papers. In the kitchen, I stop thinking. I breathe in the smells. I sing along with Johnny Cash or Talking Heads, songs I know in my toes instead of learning new ones. I chop sloppy, I sometimes don’t clean up as I go, and I enjoy every damned moment of it. Cooking slows me down. There are times that nothing makes me happier than standing in the kitchen in my bare feet, warm air from the opened oven ruffling my hair, and my fingers feeling that the cake is done. It’s the relaxed time of the hands.." Gluten Free Girl

Its nice to hear it from another persons mind. Its nice to read something that registers with every molecule in my body.

2=1

2009-03-08T14:13:00.000-07:00

I'm engaged today.

I have been playfully tossing the idea out into the open for so long now that since this precious time has arrived it isn't a screaming fit of surprise that I have seen so many times before. In commercials, movies, or on YouTube video's, today feels like any other day.

But when he asked me, sitting in the front seat of the Yaris, our bellies full of delicious Thai Food. He started to say the sweetest things, but as his eyes welled up and his hand reached into his jacket, I have to admit, I heard nothing more. It was all happening so fast. I first thought he was joking with me, then I thought it was real, then I felt it was real, it was really happening.

There aren't too many things in the world that I experience for the first time anymore. And when I experience new things, I always compare the real feeling I had, against what I 'thought' it was going to be like. What I felt was absolute completion. I felt like so many years of love were colliding into one moment in time. But on the way home, it was just us, we were still the same people, on the same path. And I liked it. I liked that nothing changed, because we didn't change, we have always been soul mates, and will always be.

But ya know, I have been wanting to Marry this man for years, wearing the pearl ring he gave me for my 25th Birthday on my wedding finger, with another plain band to keep it on (Since the Pearl one is a little too big for my ring finger). Looking down at it on a daily basis, knowing I was long off 'the market' and loving this little imaginary world I lived in where Steve was my Husband. But now, its for real, and there is nothing greater than that feeling.

I can't explain our relationship beyond saying He is Me, my Best Friend and my True Love. We are so remarkably similar, and yet he is one of the most influential role models in my life. He seems to never tire of balancing my energy, and I never tire of making him happy.

He is where I begin and where I end.

I believe Love is something you know, in your body. Saying it to each other, this sentence "I love you" feels good, but the words mean nothing. It is the feeling inside, that you think of when you say these words, that means so much to us.

It really is true, all the old stories and sappy romance movies, that climax in complete chaos, then end with two people coming together to express their love, and in that, knowing that everything will be OK. That all that other stuff, isn't as bad as it seems, because you have someone to completely support you and only you, through the rest of your days.

Here's to the rest of our life!

Ying and Yang

2009-02-23T07:35:00.000-08:00

I sat,
on my couch,
my mind a wander as such,
the greatest cookie ever made,
being mixed and measured in my mind.

One cookie with two hearts,
two minds,
good and evil?
no,
delicious and daring.

what if?
yes it could work,
one batter,
with two results,
together as one,
a cookie as a muffin,
it must be done!

Quinoa you complete me, you complete protein, you!

2009-02-23T07:09:00.000-08:00

Quinoa in the wild!

Quinoa (pronounced KEEN-wah or KEE-no-uh) is a species of goosefoot (Chenopodium) grown as a crop primarily for its edible seeds. It is a pseudocereal rather than a true cereal as it is not a grass.

Quinoa originated in the Andean region of South America, where it has been an important food for 6,000 years.

Quinoa has become highly appreciated for its nutritional value, as its protein content is very high (12%–18%), making it a healthful choice for vegetarians and vegans. Unlike wheat or rice (which are low in lysine), quinoa contains a balanced set of essential amino acids for humans, making it an unusually complete protein source.^[3] It is a good source of dietary fiber and phosphorus and is high in magnesium and iron. Quinoa is gluten-free and considered easy to digest. Because of all these characteristics, quinoa is being considered a possible crop in NASA's Controlled Ecological Life Support System for long-duration manned spaceflights.

Well, you learn something new every day. I learned that if I want to live on a space station, I will still be able to eat this salad!

This takes no time to whip up and it keep in the fridge easily for 3-5 days!

Quinoa Salad

(Adapted from "Crunchy Quinoa", Mmmmm Steph you make it the best!)

1 cup Quinoa (I used red and white mixed)
** cook according to package directions
** Spread out on a cookie tray to cool before adding to salad mixture

1 Carrot, diced
2 Green onions, diced
1/2 cup Peas ( I used frozen)
1 can Chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1/4 cup Pumpkin seeds

feel free to add: red pepper, celery, sunflower seeds, parsley and black sesame seeds.

Dressing:
1/4 cup Olive oil
2 tbsp Apple cider vinegar
1 tbsp Lemon juice
1 tbsp Tamari (soy sauce)
dash and Salt and fresh cracked Black Pepper

Eat on its own, or over a bed of mixed greens. It has an amazingly rich flavour, DIG IN!

Stepping back to move forward

2009-02-16T11:06:00.000-08:00

Recession! Recession!
You hear it in the news, you hear it in the lunch room. Its the hot topic of the season...

Batten down the hatches, staple the money to the walls! SAVE SAVE SAVE....

Ummmm For those of us 25-35 years old's out there, we have been living in a recession for YEARS! College/University Debt....Ummmm yeah , that's our recession.

But there are the things you live without and the things that make life worth living. There is a line that must be drawn between cutting corners to save money and cutting' life' out all together. The whole idea that you are working today to make a life for the future is inspiring and great.... If you don't lose yourself along the way.

Life is meant is meant to be lived. Its the little moments you must enjoy in order to get the most bang for your 'recession buck' there is! Steve and I were given a 2 for 1 coupon for Starbucks new Tazo tea latte. And so the day began.........

2 Tazo Tea lattes with coupon
$4.16

2 toasted bagels with butter from Locke Street Bagel
$2.17

Sunshine
free

fresh air
free

Spending "family day" with Steve
priceless

Walk, Window shop, Talk, Laugh, Live a little even during the 'Recession'

I didn't know there was a word for "IT"...

2009-02-09T13:40:00.000-08:00

In this months Yoga Journal, which Steve loves, so once and a while I pick it up and read a few of the articles, I found a few paragraphs that made "IT" all make sense.

"Because your ideal weight is unique it can't be compared... Your Ideal weight is affected by your age, the season, the climate and your menstrual stage. The right weight has nothing to do with numbers. Instead, its a reflection of feeling and being truly healthy- being comfortable and stable in body and mind, experiencing normal body functions, and having the strength and endurance to engage in vigorous exercise and the demands of everyday life.

All that comes about when your appetite and the foods you eat; how and when you eat; the medicines you take; your digestion and metabolism; the nature of your environment; and your physical activity, mind and emotions are in harmony"

By "IT" I mean, this feeling that has been growing inside me. It started when the weight training I was doing in the gym, 30 mins a day 5 days a week, started to show. I wouldn't say it was showing itself visually, but physically I started to stand straighter, my posture became perfect. I had the strength to hold my shoulders back without feeling like it was something I had to purposely remember to do. My knees stopped hyper extending while standing. I took up running, and loved it. Everyday pushing myself farther and faster.

Never in my life did I FEEL like an athlete. I thought I wasn't built for speed or endurance. I felt like I was faking it, when I'd go to the gym, like I didn't belong. I battled this feeling for so long, that I lost and lived a life of believing that I just wasn't the sporty type.

But then I started feeling "IT" . While running I worked on my form, I started reading online running websites to see how I could improve my run. What to eat pre and post run to give my muscles what they needed. I was a little engine. While buying running shoes, chatting with the sales person I knew what performance I needed out of the shoes. I ran and felt... like it was mine. I was good at running. I was a runner.

At the gym, I learned what the names of the exercises were. I could keep track of what weight I lifted before and how much I could challenge myself today. I actually needed workout clothes and I wore them with pride. I felt... like it was mine. I was good at weightlifting. I was strong.

"IT" got stronger, as my body turned giggly from the fat separating from my muscle, as the fat burned off, as the muscles took shape, I felt as though I was finally seeing myself in the mirror. My diet matched my life. I had to eat small portions all the time because I was getting hungry all the time. The more I moved, the more I needed to eat. But I only wanted to eat what my muscles needed.

My pants fit better, then my pants didn't fit at all. My bras were like hammocks on my chest, wow, I couldn't believe I used to fill them up. My neck , I started to notice my neck. I was never trying to look good in a bikini. What a stupid goal, I never set a goal. I was in school. I was learning what I needed to do, not just going through the motions mindlessly. Every day after work I'd go to the gym and 'learn', becoming better and better. It was just a really nice, cherry on top, that I started losing fat. I just wanted to feel better.

It all just fit together. My amazing partner, a personal trainer, gave me his time to teach and train me all he knew. He trained me to be strong in life, not to look big and bulky. The tread mill was boring but I knew I needed cardio to get my metabolism going and that's why I got into running. It all just fit together

There's no number that would make me happy to see on the scale. It's how I feel. That is "IT" this feeling of FEELING FIT. I feel like I could do anything. This energy that flows from inside me is unbelievable. I keep my hair short because it is easy to style and it doesn't get in the way when I MOVE. I am commuting to work so I walk to and from bus/train stations every day. I am getting a road bike together to start biking to work 13.5 km. WHY? BECAUSE I CAN!

I never gave my body the credit it deserved. But I'm making up for it now!

I am healthy and I CAN DO ANYTHING!

I am writing this because I have friends and family who are dealing with the same feeling I used to have. Not believing it is possible, living on a yo-yo of worry that the weight will always come back or the weight will continue to grow. And I don't know what else to say, but YOU CAN DO IT! Don't ever think you are anything but capable of doing anything you want.

So when I read those few paragraphs in Yoga Journal, my thoughts were finally put into words and I realized what that "IT" feeling was.

I am in harmony... It's harmony. That's why it's easy now, I am excited by every chance to move, snowshoeing, hiking, running, walking BRING IT ON. I look like I'm fit, I look like a runner, I look like anything I want to be, to me. To me, I finally look how I feel, to me.

I am in harmony. I am me

Protein and Nutrition bars to BEAT UP the hunger

2009-01-22T05:53:00.000-08:00

Hunger vs food

There is no competition here folks!

I eat breakfast early, hike to the local Go station, hop on a bus, travel, hop off a bus, and hike to work. This pretty much annihilates any and all of the precious breakfast I ate in the morning. So by 10:30-11:00 am I am in desperate need of a dose of food to get me through to lunch. BUT! What are we usually all doing at this time? Those of us who don't have coffee breaks? WORKING.

So what I eat needs to be able to fit in my pocket and chewed with ease while I work... and actually be good for me. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Well, it is convenient that I work at m.e.c and I am within reaching distance to some of the best 'dairy free' protein bars on the market. That means there are good ones and bad ones. They sure aren't giving them away either, so to save you some pocket change I have complied a bit of a list of some great bars I think you'll like.

Clif Builder Bar
20 Grams of Protein
270 Calories
8 grams of fat
20 grams of sugar

Delicious 'for a protein bar', chewy, chocolaty and about $1.80

Ingredients: Soy Protein Isolate, Chicory Syrup, Organic Brown Rice Syrup, Organic Evaporated Cane Juice, Palm Kernel Oil, Organic Rolled Oats, Unsweetened Chocolate, Cocoa, Organic Soy Protein Concentrate, Vegetable Glycerin, Natural Flavors, Organic Dry Roasted Almonds, Rice Starch, Cocoa Butter, Inulin (Chicory Extract), Organic Milled Flax seed, Organic Oat Fiber, Organic Sunflower Oil, Soy Lecithin, Salt.

Where does the protein come from if there's no whey protein? Simply put, other things that have protein like rice and soy! I like that Clif doesn't rock out to 100% organic just for marketing sake, since half the time, can we really trust something to actually be 100%? Clif boasts that 70% of its ingredients are Organic. Making me believe that they know the importance of organic, rather than just saying it on the labeling to reel in the consumer.

Clif Bar Original
10 grams of protein
250 calories
5 grams of fat
21 grams of sugar

Chewy, and mouth watering for about $1.40

Ingredients: Organic Brown Rice Syrup, ClifPro® (Soy Rice Crisps [Soy Protein Isolate, Rice Flour, Malt Extract], Organic Roasted Soybeans, Organic Soy Flour), Organic Rolled Oats, Chocolate Chips (Evaporated Cane Juice, Unsweetened Chocolate, Cocoa Butter, Soy Lecithin, Natural Flavors), Organic Evaporated Cane Juice, ClifCrunch® (Apple Fiber, Organic Oat Fiber, Organic Milled Flaxseed, Inulin [Chicory Extract], Psyllium), Organic Date Paste, Organic Soy Butter, Organic Sunflower Oil, Molasses Powder, Sea Salt, Natural Flavors, Cinnamon.

The carrot cake flavour has chunks of cream cheese icing type stuff and piece of grated carrot that makes you think your Grandma baked it. Maple walnut, cinnamon raisin, peanut, chocolate, they have lots of choose from. At the risk of sounding like a broken record.... DAIRY FREE!

LUNA is also another fantastic company making a dairy free alternative to the whole nutrition bar.
and
Caramel Nut Brownie

9 grams of protein
190 calories
6 grams of fat
14 grams of sugar

A swirl of chocolate on a layer of caramel. Over a soft yet crunchy rice krispie type base.

S'mores.
10 grams of protein
180 calories
4.5 grams of fat
13 grams of sugar

Same crispy base but with a lighter touch. Just a simple coat of chocolate on top.

I would recommend drinking water between bites as I find with any 'bar' they tend to sit nicer in an empty belly and also digest better with some water. Plus, you should be drinking water all day anyway right?

Are there any brands out there you love?

The first of so many batches to come!

2008-12-29T11:44:00.000-08:00

For Christmas this year, I was given such a gift, the gift of making my own ice cream. Now, as anyone with a dairy allergy can attest to, alternative milk ice cream is over priced and limited in flavours. Those two reasons alone would turn anyone towards making their own creamy delight. But for me, there is a third reason, I want to know exactly what is going into my ice cream.

My own sweeteners, my own flavours, my own time.

This is my first batch. Adapted from the instruction manual 'slash' recipe book that came with the machine. Just a simple vanilla ice cream, and at the last moment I added a sprinkle of dark chocolate piece into the mix. My first attempt didn't work. The mix wasn't cold enough so the canister melted before it could make me ice cream. So i put the mix into the fridge for another day and the canister into the freezer. I also found some fantastic sounding recipes in The Veganomicon, which include silken tofu and coconut milk, Mmmmm can't wait to try those out!

Steve and I are still working on this batch of ice cream, sharing it with friends, talking about it at gatherings and letting the lite creamy delight melt in our mouths every evening.

$6.99 a pint at the market! $2.99 a pint in my kitchen, I like those numbers!

Basic Vanilla Ice cream

2 eggs
1/2 cup Xylitol
1/4 cup maple syrup
1 cup Almond Milk
2 cups Soy Creamer
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
1 tsp chocolate extract

Whisk eggs in small saucepan over medium/high heat, until they cook evenly into a creamy texture. Remove from heat and add Xylitol, stir until melted.
Whisk remaining ingredients into egg mixture and refrigerate overnight, to chill.
Once ingredients are chilled, continue on as you normally would to make ice cream.
When ice cream is ready, I dropped in a handful of chocolate pieces which I kept chilled in the freezer.
Pour finished ice cream into a plastic container and store in freezer.

This recipe makes an 'icy' lite ice cream. Since it is the 'fat' in the ice cream that makes it creamy. I'd say this is a 'low fat' ice cream.

Enjoy! and Stay Tuned for more icy adventures!

din din

2008-12-27T16:47:00.000-08:00

Homemade coconut curry

Buckwheat "Soba" noodles

Silken Tofu

If you live near an Asian grocery store, and have never stepped inside you are missing out! A step into the unfamiliar, but isn't that what learning is all about? Almost all the labels have English on them and the nutritional guides are also shown on most products.

My local shop is called S&S located on Locke Street, Hamilton. The prices are the lowest around and the selection is unbeatable. Coconut milk, fish balls, dumplings, edamame, noodles, curry, soup bases, and fresh produce.

Since living in Taiwan the taste of Thai and Vietnamese food has never left my palate. There are times when I crave it, and nothing else will do. If I'm lazy its Take-out, but if I have the energy I do all the shopping and chopping myself. Its 2 pot cooking at its best.

Coconut milk is a little high in saturated fat, so it is an occasional meal, but well worth the indulgence.

Try something new this winter, and spice up your life!

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T17:05:00.000-08:00

Steve surprised me with my very own glass Christmas Ball

Busted!
Oh 'tis the season for kitties to play in bags of paper

On the net, me at my computer

A poem for my kitchen

2008-12-20T07:00:00.000-08:00

some people like to look in medicine cabinets
too see who you really are
i like looking into fridges
i like looking into sinks and on spice shelves

***
in my apartment
you may see my un-made bed and my pile of laundry
but if you did
you'd miss my clean kitchen counters and perfectly organized cook book shelf
if you were looking at all the cat hair on my couch
you'd be missing the funny magnets on my spotless stove
you see...
Like a free mind can wander without worry
my mind is at peace in my kitchen
if i have a funny quote it goes on the fridge
if i have a funny toy it goes on my spice shelf
pictures of friends and my love
little bottles of spice and salts
oils and acids
bottles and bowls
if you can tell alot about someone by their eyes
look into my kitchen and stare straight into my soul

Cocoa Haiku

2008-12-19T17:30:00.000-08:00

Winters hot cocoa
Snow flakes and ice all around
My cocoa and I

to make * whisk almond milk * cocoa * xylitol * in a saucepan * over medium heat* stir often
if you have fire in your soul * add a few shakes of hot chili flakes

kitties are funny

2008-12-19T10:06:00.000-08:00

He peers around the corner waiting for me to pass so he can swipe me as I pass, the sneaky monkey.

As I was writing he was biting the end of my pen... actually he was more gumming it. I think he liked the way it felt against his teeth.

But it was affecting my writing.

Oh kitties are funny.

Adele Bakes

2008-12-16T07:50:00.000-08:00

I mean, I bake all the time. But lately I have been more open to trying new recipes rather than the old wrinkled ones I have up on my shelf, stuck together with batches of sticky finger prints.

This recipe I just got simple with and added chocolate chips and walnuts to, instead of making them like Milano cookies, dipping the cookies in melted chocolate and sticking them together.

They turned out Fantastic and light and chewy and soft. They are a thumbs up for sure!

If you have a diabetic friend or family member, why not bring these along for Christmas dinner, so everyone can enjoy a baked treat!

Chocolate chip walnut cookies
adapted from Vegan Milanos from The Post Punk Kitchen

1/3 cup almond milk (or rice or soy)
1/2 cup Xylitol
1/2 cup olive oil (or canola)
1 egg
2 cups whole spelt flour (or whole wheat)
2 tablespoons arrowroot starch ( or cornstarch)
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup chocolate chips
1/2 cups broken-up walnuts

Preheat Oven to 350 degrees Celsius

Mix wet together

Sift dry together

Add wet to Dry

Batter will be very wet. Scoop with teaspoons onto parchment lined baking sheet.

Bake for 10-14 mins. Until the softness or firmness you desire is achieved.

Giving, Needing and Wanting

2008-11-21T08:33:00.000-08:00

As it does every Christmas season, the chattering begins about what to buy for Suzie and what to give to Auntie Lucie. The rush to buy, the stock to hide, the lists and more often than not, the stress. I understand the want to give, the excitement of receiving. But for so many the 'want' to give is replaced by the 'need' to give, to some or all of your circle of friends/family members.

I say Why? A dollar value should never be set for what a proper gift should be, a quantity should never be set on how many gifts to give to one person.

I don't want anyone to worry about what to give me. Nor do I want to worry about what to give someone else. When I sit down and think about the people on my list, I think of who they are and items come to mind. While walking by a shop window, something caught my eye and it strikes me as something perfect for that person on my list.

This year I want to help the environment with every gift I give. I want to help others take the step to help the environment. I am not thinking of what to give to Billy or Maggie. I am thinking about what I would like them to do for the environment this year. Small things I can present them with, with a card explaining a great idea for a New Years resolution. A compost bin with compostable liners! Why not, I know lots of people who might start composting if they were just given a little nudge in the right direction. A reusable coffee mug filled with info on how many paper coffee cups are thrown out every year.

We all have lots and lots of 'things' and yet we still want. This impulse is human nature, so it is up to us to discipline ourselves enough to know that we probably don't need all the things we want.

This is the first time I have worked in retail. Yesterday, like so many times before, I was blown away with how much selection and choice we have for practically every given item ever made. There will always be a newer, better, cooler thing. You already have a water bottle that works just fine, but ohhhhhhhh there is a new kind with a pop top that would be so much better.

Since taking a drastic pay cut to work for Mountain Equipment Co-opI have come into a new found strength against all the wants I find myself confronted with. I like this new power to tell myself. "No, you don't need that, you already have one" I like learning to appreciate what I already have, and learning to see all the things I have as what they really are.

They are what they are, and I only need what I need.

All water bottles, hold water and allow you to drink it, all back packs hold stuff, all toques keep your head warm... Until these things no longer do what they were designed to do, I don't need to get another one. These things will probably outlast me on this earth, and here I am thinking I need more. Its just more to store, and more to move around from place to place.

We shouldn't be burdened with our things, we should be enabled by them. They help us do the things we need to do, that's all. They do not define us, or make us happy.

And with all this lack of buying 'wants' that I am doing , there is still no shortage of pulling out my wallet. I need to buy train tickets, I need to buy food, I need to buy gas, and I need to buy water.

I have banished my credit card to the depths of hell and am carrying more cash. I want to feel the money go through my hands. I don't like spending 'cash' but I am not attached to the dollar amount I swipe on my debit card. So my debit card gets dusty while I strengthen my discipline to only buy what I 'need'.

Take that consumerism!

Versaware Pro Crock Pot

2008-11-20T08:26:00.000-08:00

I busted it out... my crock pot, I mean.

My parents gave this wonderful invention to me for my Birthday in July. It is a genuine work of art. Oh I know, maybe just us kitchen gear heads gets all tingly at the sight of a new crock pot, but everyone has their thing they love, and I love cooking.

This is the first time I have used it, since the snow on the roofs and the caramel apple scented candle makes me long for a warm bowl of stew. I dug around in my bin of random recipes and found one that looked promising.

Chop-chop-chop Sizzle, saute, stir Chop-chop-chop Sizzle, saute, stir Chop-chop-chop

Then the best part is how I act like Ron in the Infomercial of the century and shout out loud...

"Just set it and Forget it"

It is cliche, but there is some serious merit to the function "Set it and Forget it", because it is just so amazing! The dial on the right sets the length of cooking, in hours. The dial on the left, sets the temperature, low, high or warm. Once the time set elapses the crock automatically shifts to the 'warm' mode. '

I believe it started off as a recipe from Canadian living for Slow Cooker Beef and Mushroom Stew but as always, I started with that recipe only as a base plan for the measurements, temperature, and time. That is why cooking is fun, you can use anything as a foundation and throw in your own ideas. I added almond milk to make a creamy broth, I added carrots and tofurky sausage because I don't eat meat.

The stew turned out great! Steve suggested more liquid, and I agree. I would add 2 more cups of veggie broth and another cup or almond milk for sure. I would also add some garlic!

I am working 7 days straight and home at 9:30pm every night, so I think my crock pot is going to have its work cut out for it!

p.s. I welcomed winter yesterday. I looked out the window at the snow falling and smiled. Winter doesn't need one more person to dread it. Winter makes me slow down, take my time. Mostly for safety sake, but it is refreshing to be forced to slow down.

Maybe a little winter, is what we all need, from time to time.

Comfort and Joy!

2008-11-11T15:10:00.000-08:00

The winter air is nipping at my neck and ankles, telling me it is no longer the season for low cut socks or thin overcoats. The season of warm blankets, frosty window panes and the smell of fresh baked cookies is here! Yes, I did use an exclamation mark, which means I am happy at the thought of all that snow and winter cheer.

I am looking at winter in a whole new light this year. With my new job, I am not relying on my car to get me anywhere, I will be using the Go Train. The whole scraping, brushing and shoveling routine really start to wear on me, so the idea of leaving it all (and my car) in the driveway and walking to the train station, brings me a sigh of relief, this winter.

My new job at Mountain Equipment Co-op also brings new outdoor activities closer to my finger tips. Among many other things, I am working with cross country skis and snowshoes! I am surrounded by people who are enthusiastic at the thought of the outdoors in winter and their enthusiasm is contagious.

After a long day of snowshoeing or hiking in the brisk winter air, nothing seems finer than coming in to a warm cup of cocoa and a chewy chocolate chip cookie! So here is my favourite cookie recipe for you.

Chocolate Chip Cookies
**Low Glycemic, Dairy Free

DRY:
2 cups Whole, Spelt flour (or whole wheat)
2 tbsp Flax seed, ground
1 tsp Baking soda
1 tsp Stevia (powder)
1/4 tsp Salt

WET:
1/2 cup Xylitol, granulated
1/2 cup Olive Oil
1/2 cup Walnuts, broken
1/2 cup Chocolate Chips
1 ripe Banana, diced or mashed
1 egg
1/4 cup Almond Milk (or soy milk)

Directions:

Sift all the dry ingredients together in a medium sized bowl. Then in a smaller bowl mix all the wet ingredients together. Pour the wet into the dry and stir them all together. The batter will be wet and sticky.

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Using two spoons scoop and plop cookie dough onto the sheet any way you like. These cookies will not flatten and spread out very much, they will puff up on the spot, so don't worry about how close together they are.

Bake in a preheated oven set at 350 degrees F for 12 minutes. The cookies may not look done, but trust me and don't over bake them. When they cool down a bit they will be perfectly soft and delicious.

Makes about 17 average sized cookies.

**For a festive touch, add you favourite chai tea to the mix. Simply rip open the tea bag and toss the lose tea into the wet ingredients as if it were a spice mix. Or try a teaspoon of pumpkin pie spice, or just cinnamon.

Becoming aware

2008-11-02T08:16:00.000-08:00

Why do babies cry so much? Is it because they are fully aware of the needs of their body and cannot express it? Or are they bombarded with so much sensory overload that crying is a relief? This debate could go on for years, I'm sure.

What I am talking about is Body Awareness.

Our bodies and our minds are attached. Which means our organs and muscles are in direct communication with our brain, and our brain then translates that to something we can understand as hunger, strain, etc. I believe that over the years we can lose touch with what our bodies are telling us. I was a subject with this loss.

Everyone in the world knows the pangs our body's emits when we are hungry, the twinge in our side when we have a cramp, or the dull pain of a headache coming on. This awareness is simple and basic. You can't ignore those signs, they are innate to our physiology.

The awareness I am talking about is much more subtle and finite. The kind that I believe we start with as a child, but lose somewhere along the way. Eventually those signals turn into whispers and we don't hear them anymore, they are pushed aside by the never ending daily signals like stress, thirst, hunger and so on.

But I am listening, I have been listening more and more on my path to health and wellness. I am 25 and I feel like I have been missing these subtle finite signals for so much of my life, that I am only now truly aware of my inner workings.

One day I noticed a small tightness above my kidneys, on both sides. Nothing more than an oversight, not painfull, it didn't effect my daily movement or mood. Just a minor tightness that popped up in my thoughts as "hmmmm this is new". I did some research online and saw that my Adrenal glands were in that area, and they could become aggitated with too much caffeine and stress.... That made sense, since I was on a high-caffeine fat burner and quitting my job at that time. So I quit the fat burners and found a new job and soon enough the feeling in my lower back was gone. Maybe I wasn't right, it could have been a pulled muscle that just got better. What matters is that I noticed it.

Its cheesy but I am so proud of myself for learning to listen to my body all over again. I eat when I am hungry. If I feel like sleeping I do, when I feel like running, I do. I am doing everything I can for my body to keep it well oiled and energetic.

This Body awareness is a tool we can use to be our own doctors. Do the words "early detection" ring a bell? We are our own watchdogs. This body awareness also applies for skin and hair. We should never feel like we don't know whats going on in our bodies. If you wake up in the morning and you feel more tired than usual. Take a moment to think about why? Don't just brush it off to old age or a bad mattress. Take those things into account but with more detail.

We owe it to ourselves.

me and m.e.c.

2008-10-18T10:14:00.001-07:00

me in Taiwan waiting for the sunrise atop Alishan Mountain

I have been heading towards this job for years now. Ever since graduating from Algonquin College with a Diploma in Outdoor Adventure, I have been gaining experience in the industry and in different work environments, which have all been crucial to how I experience this new job today. That's what everything comes down to... out past experiences help determine how we experience the things we do today.

I now work for MOUNTAIN EQUIPMENT CO-OP!

I just finished 2 weeks of training with a few more to go. Training that consists of literally testing all the outdoor gear we sell in the store. M.E.C. is the Toy'r'us for adults outdoor enthusiast. All the gizmo's and gadgets, sweaters and tents, and gear you could ever want.

I have been nervous, excited, calm and exhausted, these feelings changing likes waves depending on what I would be doing next. But I feel good. And that's all that matters.

m.e.c. you make me look forward to winter. You surround me with people who boost my own enthusiasm for the outdoors. You all speak my language. You all recycle and know what composting is.

My mind can grow, heal and rejoice at my job... this is going to be easy to get used to :-)

I earned a badge for my Dirt Pudding!

2008-09-16T13:42:00.000-07:00

My recipe for Dirt Pudding was featured on The Back Burner today.
Click on the badge above to see the post.

The Back Burner features receipes uploaded from The Key Ingredient, the recipes come from all over, usually with pictures and a commentary. We all know that some recipes never turn out right even if you follow them precisely, so its refreshing to see real recipes in action.

Dirt Pudding - Dairy free

A layering of creamy, chocolately, crunchy and chewy with creepy ...

See Dirt Pudding - Dairy free on Key Ingredient.

Funny Munday

2008-09-15T07:49:00.000-07:00

What's on the menu...

Round up those veggietarians and fry 'em!

-Photo found on Flicker

Everything tastes good when campfire is involved

2008-09-04T09:17:00.000-07:00

Left over Red Lentil and Cauliflower curry from the Veganomicon, and Garlic Naan

Marinated Tofu, Rice Cheese, fried eggs and fresh blueberries.

Just a peek into our Dinner and Breakfast over campfire. We went up to the Elora Gorge Conservation area this summer and had a fantastic time. Clear, deep lake swimming, fishing, hiking...oh and eating!

Make the reservations, fill the cooler, pack the car and GO!
Don't think, Don't stall, just go!

1 - 2 - 3

2008-09-04T08:13:00.000-07:00

Summer this year has been the most rewarding summer I have ever had. And the most thinking I have ever done, in one small period of time. Hop into my head and I'll tell you all about it.

I don't usually stop and think about all the good things there are, because I am so busy living through the daily stuff. Unless a cool breeze blows my way, or something beautiful catches my eye, I don't stop moving. I never stop moving. But this week, I have had alot of time to think, which is what vacations are for right? But this vacation I took to get away from daily life. I took it to find the connection to myself that was quickly slipping away. The hustle and bustle of daily life, is a common theme for almost everyone, which leads almost everyone to say the same cliche lines like 'You have to stop and smell the roses or time will pass you by" things like that, ya know?

I am a victim of always thinking one step ahead. When I am eating breakfast I am thinking about lunch, when I am driving I am thinking about what I will do when I get there.

I saw an ad in a magazine for Le Creuset cooking ware, and it showed one of their amazing pots on the stove beside a pile of fresh veggies and herbs, and in the background a group of smiling women around a table. The caption was "This is my Happy Hour" and I laughed because that is the perfect way to describe what I feel.

So I stopped to think about all the good things...

Everyone has their release, and as Happy Hour at the bar is a relaxing thing to do after a hard day, my kitchen is the bar to me, and food is the vice that grips my racing mind and brings me back to the ground.

Standing in my kitchen, chopping, smelling, washing, dicing, every step of the way, is pure instinct. I can pick up two items and smell them and know if they will taste good together. I know by the sound of the oil in the pan if its too hot, I know by the way a mushroom cuts under my knife how old it is. I know by the density of the pizza dough, how long it will need to cook and what temperature I should put it at, so that it cooks slow enough to cook the veggies on top while not over cooking the crust. All these things calm my senses. Knowing things without a doubt, calms me, Life, on the other hand isn't a bowl of produce, I can't anticipate it.

My routine has been thrown off lately. My direction in life is changing. My habits, my complacency in the job world is gone, I am back on the market. There is nothing more sobering than updating your resume and putting yourself through job interviews. Some say that starting fresh is invigorating and wonderful when you are moving in a forward positive direction. But dammit its scary! Its like being the new kid in school, so much to learn, and yet, so much excitement.

But things are different, the jobs I am applying for are in the Adventure Industry, well, the gear and equipment sales of the Adventure Industry. But long story short, is that I know Adventure gear and equipment like I know food. Funny eh? If you were camping, climbing, paddling, hiking, skiing, in hot, cold, wet, dry, high, low, I would know what you need to outfit your entire trip.

So here I am waiting for calls from future employers, waiting to go to another interview on Monday and cooking, at home, on a much needed vacation.

But no matter, what, everything always comes back to food.

Roasted Veggies

2 cloves Garlic
10 cherry Tomatoes
10 yellow Heirloom tomatoes
2 jalapeno peppers
1 green pepper
a few turns of fresh cracked black pepper
a pinch coarse sea salt
a few gulps of olive oil

Slice these all together roughly, toss with olive oil and place on tinfoil. Bake in preheated oven set at 350 for about 20 mins, you don't want the garlic to get too brown so stir the veggies around on the baking sheet every once and a while and pull them out when they are soft and roasted.

Dump all the veggies into a small high sided container and add:

a handful of fresh chives
a handful of fresh basil.

Pulse with hand blender a few times for chunky sauce or lots of times for smooth sauce. Toss over some warm pasta with:

a small tab of butter about 1 tbsp.

A Delicious side dish to accompany a piece of pan fried salmon, or tofu or chickpeas!

Always come back to the things you love.

earth+water+sun= life

2008-08-22T06:18:00.001-07:00

I picked up a mixed packet of wild flower seeds at a local flower shop and threw them into some soil, watered and waited and here they are (except for the portulaca). I planted these a little later in the season, so they are just coming alive now, which is nice, because many of my other plants are finishing off their season.

Like so many gardeners, many of my tomato plants turned into trees bearing just a few green tomato's which never ripened before their branches broke and withered away. There has just been so much rain. I mean, I wasn't complaining, since carrying my watering can into the apartment for refills, 8 times a day, was tiring! But the rain was just too much, this season. So chop-chop went a few of my saddest tomato plants to make room for those that were producing.

These are some photos of the tomato's I harvested this week. Mmmm, roasted in the oven with a little olive oil and Hosin sauce.

It is late August, you can feel the night becoming cooler, and I can't help but think that summer is coming to an end. I am dedicated to my outdoor space though, still clinging to the idea that I can sit out there anytime I want.

Coltrane and I still frequent the garden daily. I end up checking all the veggies and pulling off dead leaves, he sniffs around, chases flies and eats any flecks of grass that try and poke through the stones. We are a good team!

Summer is and will always be, my favourite season!

words

2008-08-19T07:27:00.000-07:00

Be the change that you want to see in the world. - Gandhi

Action expresses priorities. - Gandhi

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. - Gandhi

Where there is love there is life. - Gandhi

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. - Gandhi

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Gandhi

Adaptability is not imitation. It means power of resistance and assimilation.

- Gandhi

The pleasure lies in making the effort, not in its fulfillment. - Gandhi

You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind. - Gandhi

It is health which is real wealth, not pieces of silver and gold. - Gandhi

Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances. - Gandhi

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. - Gandhi

All true art must help the soul to realize its inner self. - Gandhi

******************************************************

They are simply words, arranged in different order. Words which you can choose to hear, or choose to ignore. Each day that passes, Words are getting stronger. When I lived overseas for a year, I entered an English word vacuum. No longer susceptible to subliminal messaging, subconscious reading. There was a splodge of English here and there, but as the Chinese language is mainly symbols and characters. I found myself grasping for books like I was gasping for air. I would lay on the couch all day, and read, line after line, feeding my mind with what it craved.

But why did I crave the Word? Why do 'we' crave the word?

Actions speak louder than words... I want words. I want them on my shirts, I want them in my kitchen, I want them on my body.

Words speak to me.

These quotes I found today, will be stamped on my walls within the week. Why? Because I have lost focus, things have been blurry. I have been back to Canada for years now, but with the onslaught of English advertising, highway signs, cereal boxes, that need to read, left me. It didn't even leave a forwarding address until today. Today it called from within and told me I need to start CHOOSING what I read.

I only really know one language. One set of words which when arranged in one way, makes me feel good, while when arranged in another can shift my world, bring me down, hustle me out of my drive to be me.

Since positive words make me feel so good, I must surround myself with them. I will let these words affect me, effect me, penetrate my being. I want these words to be my mood, my mantra, my food.

What do words mean to you?

Needing pencil crayons, leads to theories of living

2008-08-18T07:26:00.000-07:00

I had an urge today, to draw something with pencil crayons. That was the medium I needed. I needed to sharpen and shade and blend as hard or lightly as I wanted. Which brought me to my options, go out and buy a new box of pencil crayons, or drive out to my parents house in the boonies*, to get my art supplies out of the basement.

(* for those of you not familiar with this term it is affectionately used to describe houses in the country, outside of the city or in the "boondocks".)

I am passionate about reusing and I am on a budget, so I think I will have to drive out to the 'rents house tomorrow and pick up those pencil crayons to scratch this sketching itch.

Whenever I end up needing something from my parents house, I feel the weirdness of living with only half my stuff.

I am in this transition period, not completely out of my parents house, but not completely into my own house. Apartment living is that dimension where semi-adults my age, thrive. I thought I should document this time in my life, because it is a time that I may not remember going through years from now.

But are those pencil crayons really mine? Technically they are from my childhood, so I should split them with my brother, and my Mom may still want to use them...

I have to explain that I hate feeling burdened by stuff. I hate clutter, I love organization. My apartment is small, but clean and simple. So, the idea that I have boxes of stuff in my parents basement gives me the sweats... As much as I need stuff, I hate having too much stuff.

(People say Hate is a strong word, and that it should not be used frivolously, so consider this not a frivolous use of the word.)

This transitional period started when I was 17, working away from home. Only bringing what I thought I'd need. Then each summer away, the list of "needs" would change based on how much I wanted to lug around and what I wanted to do. One summer, my paint-kit came with me, the next summer my knitting-kit came with me. This travelling side-show life I had is over, but I am still technically living this way. I can't afford a place big enough to fit all my stuff, nor do I want to lug all my stuff in and out of every place I move to, but I still feel the need to keep this stuff. Why? Because of the FUTURE! The future may hold a kitchen with tons of storage, an Art room, a Green house, a Garage! So I will hold onto this stuff because one day, I will have to choose to let go, but not today!

This week, I will drive into the boonies, pick up pencil crayons and draw. And my happy semi-adult-pseudo-house living will continue to thrive.

RANT

2008-07-22T06:08:00.000-07:00

"i'm not trying to meddle, but you might wanna cool it with the coffee, there guy."

Some days at work when I am forced to interact with some of the people at work, I feel like shouting DAYS OF THUNDER!

Those three words just came to mind, this morning, at 9am, when I was having yet another conversation, if you could even call it that, about Tim Horton's coffee. Tim Horton's should be registered as a gang slogan! In this building if you mess with a persons morning cup of Tim's you are persecuted and lectured till you turn blue!

I don't even think Tim Horton's heartburn brew should even be allowed to call itself Coffee based on the composition of its mass consisting of, just guessing, less than 50% actual coffee beans.

But besides that, this morning I had a run-in with a senior member of the staff who I had to treat like a five year old having a temper tantrum, because of TIM HORTON'S COFFEE. This guy could fire me on the spot, but if he thought that was going to stop me from telling him "This is nothing to get angry about" he was mistaken.

I love telling people who are angry that I know they are angry and they can kiss my ass, in not so many words, of course. But this guy was spouting off the most stereotypical 'angry dad' voice I have ever heard all because the staff coffee fund isn't always stocked and it's too much work for him to restock it and I should be making sure that he gets his morning coffee without a hitch.

Even though it has NOTHING TO DO WITH ME and I don't even participate in the staff run coffee fund. I just happen to be at the front desk -where I work!. I believe there was even the line " I have spent more time on this coffee stuff, in the last two weeks than I have on my own work!" Well that says alot champ! Thanks for the perspective into how important you are to this company!

My main point.....

I think it is inexcusable that some people in the working world believe that when they step into their workplace they think that being polite, having common sense, common courtesy, and having a conscious don't apply. Being given a position of power in a company does not give you the right to raise your voice to another employee or talk own to them, for any reason, ESPECIALLY over a cup of lousy- cheap -dull- brown- liquid, masquerading as coffee.

I may be on the lower end of the corporate ladder, where, if I compared it to a pool ladder I would be one of the steps under water. So i'm low on that ladder, but I don't kiss any ass or let anyone get away with talking crap to me.... lets hope I have a job next week!

Get a grip people, if you can't be decent, stay home!

Kung Fu Fighting!

2008-07-18T04:46:00.001-07:00

Send a JibJab Sendables® eCard Today!

Twenty Five Bones

2008-07-15T04:32:00.000-07:00

I am 25!

Today signals the passing of a generation and the beginning of a new generation.

I call it Generation try-not-to-start-acting-like-an-old-person.

Now I want to explain, that by "Old Person" I am not talking about age! I am talking about those people who lose all memory of what it is like to be a kid. I think once you turn 25, you're at risk!

(Before you are twenty five there is no risk because you are a kid! Everyone knows it! Your parents still let you do laundry at their house, shit, you may even still live at home! But once you cross that 25 mark, I think generationally you are in a whole new file folder. The "Get your shit together" file, or The " You should know this already" file. Luckily I have already had files for years, labelled "Credit card, Student loan, utility bills", etc. so I am a little bit ahead of the game!)

I've been using this term "Old People" for a while now, and I do find that people get offended by it, but it can only be offensive if it is misunderstood, or if that person already thinks that they are an "Old Person" and doesn't like the idea of my talking about them in a negative way. Which makes sense, but I won't stop using the term, because in my mind, it makes sense.

Old people are the ones who don't crack a smile when a little kid pulls an orange out of the pile in the produce section, only to send all the other oranges cascading into the isle. Its a lesson in gravity and geometry, and the world is teaching it!

Old people are just people who have lost their child like wonder, and I think the world could use more people with child-like wonder, and less impatient old people.

Stay young at heart!

The path of a vegetarian

2008-07-14T09:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's hard to be a Vegetarian. "What in Gods name is that?" is a frequent comment in my workplace lunch room. "Sorry but God didn't make this, it's tofu, so suck it up princess!" would be a great come back to that small minded comment, but I hold back and let them know "It's tofu"

There are generational divides where I work, and everywhere else, between people raised to eat whatever they were fortunate enough to have, people who have always had an endless supply of food, and people who have chosen carefully what they put into their bodies.

If the list of heated topics to steer clear from is "Sex, Religion and Politics" you would think I'd be in the clear to bring up the latest BEEF RECALL headline in the news, or TAINTED MILK SCARE headline, but you would be wrong.

Talking about Food having a negative effect on the world is incredibly heated!

Why is it so heated you ask?

Bottom line...

Most People just don't like to think about it and I put it in their face.

They like living in a world where everything is OK. There are too many other things to worry about, bills, gas prices.... Maybe the only thing that keeps them sane is that box of Hamburger helper they can eat with a smile.

Food, to so many people, is VOID when it comes to the Environment. Food production isn't ruining the environment, how crazy is that! No, food is good and pure and it nurtures you... it is the essence of all that is good in the world.

Yes and No

Food is my life. I will admit it. I think about it as much as I breath. I spend hundreds of dollars a month keeping my fridge stocked and my belly full. But I pride myself in the CHOICES I make towards both the food I eat and the food I serve to my friends.

Forget diets and fads, I am not even talking about food in a sense of Calories. That is a topic for another huge post, I am simply talking about Food in a sense of being environmentally conscious.

Food production across the world, is having a detrimental effect on all aspects of the environment. We are even changing the genetic make-up of plants to suit our mouth-stuffing needs. Even with all the food we are making, it still isn't reaching all the hungry mouths before it rots in the warehouses of the Big Food Industry. So its not like we can brag that food production is keeping the world well fed, it isn't! The environmental downfall is not worth it, so Industrialized Food production has no excuses to back up its devastation.

All the true farmers, who listen to their plants and know how to work the land hand-in-hand with the environment are going to all disappear. Leaving Monsanto and oil to feed us. We must support the organic farmers and local farmers, the small food production companies who don't sacrifice the environment to squeeze out a few more crackers.

It's all about choice! In a world where everyone is supposed to be accepting of people 'choices', making a choice to not eat meat and dairy is like lighting off a bomb at the lunch table. You are a terrorist, you are wrong, wrong, wrong! No one has a problem making fun of you for it, telling you how much you don't know... oh the list goes on.

I think almost all of my friends are meat eaters, as was I just a few months ago, until I felt a turn inside me. On my long path to being as light on the earth as I can, I am gradually feeling things I never felt before, like pain inside my heart when I think of animals being bread and farmed for me to eat. It just stopped feeling right, so I stopped buying into it.

I am not sickened by my friends bacon on their breakfast sandwich, it smells good. I am not angry with myself for liking the smell of bacon, what would that do? Nothing. I am simply choosing not to eat it.

Those who ride a bike to work for environmental reasons, are they persecuted by the car drivers? Do they think the bicycler believes they are better than everyone else? Doesn't that seem ridiculous? Then why is it such common practice to look on a vegetarians meal and furl your eyebrows with disdain.

I don't preach my choices, I have just simply made them. I feel good about my choice. My vegetarian lifestyle requires me to learn more about what my body needs to work strong and stay healthy. I nourish my body and soul with the choices I make.

Choice is the one thing you make on your own.

Summer

2008-07-14T07:55:00.000-07:00

Coltrane

Every day when I get home from work,this little guy is meowing behind the door, having no patience for my jingling keys to fit into the lock and release him into the garden he has been watching all day.

Coltrane loves the courtyard. He is an indoor cat, only because of the positioning of our apartment building between too many roads and apartment buildings. So after screwing a couple BBQ grates to the fence, blocking off all the escape routes (that's ghetto, i know) we can let Coltrane roam freely in the courtyard.

He knows where his little Cat Nip plant is, and he monitors its progress daily. By that, I mean, I feed him a leaf and he repeatedly tries to get the rest!

Yucca plant

This is a Yucca plant my neighbour pulled out of his front flower bed, and handed over the fence to me, to add some vegetation to my patio area. It didn't look so good, but I watered it daily with hope that it would pull itself alive again. Again nature proved its strength and after cleaning up the dead spikes and giving it some fresh soil, it has begun to sprout new spikes, and has become one of my favourite parts of the patio. It was a lesson for me, to never give up on a plant, because it may surprise me.

Scarlett Runner Bean

This one bloom is about 6 feet off the ground, just enough to keep it out of the hungry mouths of carpenter ants. Which was the fate of the last few blooms. I started this plant from seeds in my living room, while the frost was still fresh outside. So I feel a great connection to how fantastic it has become. Plus, look at that colour!

Zucchini Flower

This is the first time I have ever grown a squash plant and I think I might have 10 next summer! I love these blooms! Not only to look at, but I have heard that it is very delicious to batter and fry them! This summer I only have 4 plants, and am looking forward to eating zucchini until I start looking like one, so I don't want to pick any blooms for frying.

What June passes on to July

2008-06-29T08:00:00.000-07:00

June has been an amazing month for gardens. It has rained nearly every day giving life an easy start to the growing season. I have only had to fill my watering can a 'bakers dozen' times this entire month. Which is helpful because I fill up the watering can in my kitchen sink!

Herbs

2008-06-29T07:53:00.000-07:00

Rain Rain thank you for all the herbs! Parsley and Dill made some pretty cool arrangements for my living room table, and Steve thought it made the place smell good!

So, I didn't know that Mint was a runner plant... Now I have lots of mint. Wow, mint, who knew?

The Berries deserve a Sift!

2008-06-29T06:56:00.000-07:00

These strawberries are deserving of a fluffy waffle so I will give it to them.

The middle of June always means fresh STRAWBERRIES. When I was younger strawberries signaled the end of school, the beginning of long warm days, sleeping in past 9am and spending every minute outside.

Now that I am older, when my teeth plunge through a fresh Ontario strawberry, I remember those days in the strawberry patch, early, before the sun came up, eating as many strawberries as I packed into little pints with my Mom. I remember the diligent task it was to wash and remove the tops, boiling, jarring... for an entire year of fresh strawberry jam.

I bought these from a local farm, who pick their own berries every morning. I bumped into quite a few people I knew, all of us, patiently waiting in line to take our berries home. Mmmm and a little fresh maple sugar candy!

Beautiful strawberries like this and it being Sunday and all.... this means WAFFLES!

If you have noticed that waffles are a reoccurring item, its true. We eat them almost every weekend, because I can pack so much fiber into them, and they are so 'toppable'!

When mixing dry ingredients for anything you are making. You ALWAYS need to SIFT! I can't give enough praise to sifting. It is the best way to integrate the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, spices etc. It takes 8 seconds to sift, and boom! You have made a huge step towards a fluffy baked item. Sifting not only mixes the dry ingredients , it adds air and a lightness to the ingredients that can only be achieved through sifting. Even if you buy a prepackaged pancake mix, or cake mix, or anything. The ingredients have compacted while sitting on the grocery store shelf, so you need to SIFT those too!

That being said. Once you pour in your wet ingredients you want to maintain the light 'airyness' of the batter by FOLDING the ingredients with your spoon.

To fold, swoop your spoon down into the batter from one side to the other, running the spoon along the bottom, then dump the batter remaining on your spoon onto the top of the batter. Then take the spoon out, turn the bowl a bit and repeat. YES it takes longer and it seems silly to be so gentle to something you are going to bake at three hundred and fifty degrees or pour onto a scalding hot waffle iron, but DUDE it is super importanto!

With the combination of sifting and folding you will be blown away with the rise you will get out of your treats.

Exception: For cookies, I sift the ingredients but then I mix the cookie batter with my hands. I'm just crazy like that.

If you are watching your sugar intake or are a diabetic. I recommend substituting Agave Nectar for Maple syrup, or using a 50:50 ratio. Agave Nectar is a low glycemic sugar substitute that is 4 times sweeter than table sugar. You can mix it in with recipes as a great natural sweetener!

Waffle or Pancake Mix

1 cup Whole Spelt Flour
3 tbsp Flax seed, ground
1/4 cup Xylitol
1 1/2 tsp Baking powder
1/8 tsp Salt
1/2 cup Almond milk
1/3 cup Apple sauce or pured banana
3 tbsp Olive Oil
2 Eggs
Cinnamon, to taste

In a large bowl, SIFT the flour, baking powder, salt and cinnamon together
In a medium sized bowl, mix all remaining ingredients together.
Add wet to dry and fold ingredients together until just combined.

If making waffles in a circular Belgian waffle maker, this recipe should make about 3 waffles

ENJOY!

Life all around

2008-06-10T06:06:00.000-07:00

The first bloom of a pepper plant.

I joined a Community Garden when Spring first hit. I felt a need inside me to grow plants, to feel seeds and soil and water in my hands. I think the winter hurt my soul! I know that's harsh, but that WAS a harsh winter, and my first real winter in the city on a side street with no 4 x Wheel drive!

The Community Garden was great, but I didn't truly realize the distance I would have to drive to get to it. The positive environmental factors of gardening were outweighed by the negative environmental factors of driving my car.

So, with a spark of enthusiasm I loaded up with soil and planters and plants and damnit I made my own garden!

Coltrane enjoys it too!

A few tomato, pepper and zucchini plants make up the bulk of the veggies. I also have some sweet and savory herbs to compliment my food all summer long. Scarlett runner beans are training their way up twine against the fence and a few flowers have mixed into the garden as well.

The 'Courtyard' as it is called, at our apartment, was completely forgotten by everyone before we moved in. A rickety old back deck and over grown weeds camouflaged the back area of its potential beauty. We jumped on the area and claimed it as our own. Hours of weeding and arranging and loving the space has really made it what it is today.

I feel very lucky to have this space. We just rent an apartment on the ground floor with no balcony or anything. So the fact that we have this secret little space all to ourselves is such a gift.

Bird house Gourd sprout

Squirrels + Cayenne = plants are safe

City Squirrels are limited to small patches of vegetation, so my garden was quickly a HOT SPOT! No neon sign required to advertise my fresh soil... it was dug up every afternoon without missing a beat. But! A little sprinkle of cayenne pepper over the soil and they have not touched it since. You do have to sprinkle more after it rains but its an inexpensive and natural way to keep them at bay.

When the tomato's and peppers start to arrive I will have to try a solution of hot sauce, dish soap and water in a spray bottle. Spraying this on the fruit is said to be a good way to keep the squirrels from stealing what isn't theirs.

I should say here, that Squirrles have a very good sense of smell, and do not like to experiment with spices! So if your going on a date with one stick to the produce isle and skip the shawarma hut!

I am also going to get a small bird bath, to offer the squirrels some water, because it is said that they steal tomatoes because they are thirsty.

Either way, I have my own garden. What should I name it?

Out! Out with you, thoughts!

2008-05-23T14:15:00.000-07:00

For the sake of being, I am being. For the sake of living, I am living. Negative thoughts be out, positive light be in. Make it go, stop, bring, let live, and all that is in between.

When I put my hands to paper, the things that spew fourth are too quick for even my nimble fingers to put in the right order. Letters rearranged, misspelled and misplaced. But the thoughts are in order; the breaths are taken in strides, to give me enough oxygen to keep my mind going. But my mind works on an unimaginable scale. It never stops; it breaks down even the simplest thoughts into a thousand sections. Am I blowing up these small thoughts into more than they are, or am I truly giving them the justice they deserve?

It doesn’t make sense. It makes perfect sense to me. Steve is my daily ear, the large funnel I pour everything into where my thoughts are sifted and strained through his ears and his eyes. I think non-stop, which leads to the assumption that I should be a genius, with all these wheels and cogs spinning in my brain. You see, I don’t channel my thoughts; I let them run a muck, wander, infusing every micron of useful space with thoughts. I wish my metabolism worked on such a rampant scale, but that is another thought, for another day.

Meditation, calming of the mind? These words sound wonderful, just saying them makes me think…….. and those thoughts lead to more thoughts. Like links given on a web page of interest, if you click and follow enough of them, you will find yourself on a completely different subject.

I fight my mind on a daily basis. Not the good thoughts, I love those, I feed on those. Sometimes those good thoughts make me stop moving, make me tilt my head back and absorb the moment. I take a deep breath, I look around, and a smile comes over my face. I mean to say that, even with all these thoughts running like rabid gerbils’ on a wheel, I am still able to stop and hold a thought. Like pulling the winning ballet out of a box and knowing instantly that this one should be paid attention to. I hold down a full time job so I must be good at paying attention and focusing right? Maybe, who knows, ask my boss.

The fight I am talking about is with the thoughts that do me no good. The thoughts that I can identify as being useless. Think of thousands of fruit flies mulling over scraps in the compost bowl on the counter. Those scraps used to be whole, and useful, and you used them, enjoyed them to their fullest and wish to never see them again. But those fruit flies appear out of nowhere and soon there are thousands of them. But when you remove the source of their attention they disappear. My no good thoughts sometimes control me. They hold the strings and I am their puppet. Nothing I do can help me take hold of those strings. If it sounds like quite a fight, you’re right.

Caffeine is my personal enemy. It ruins my nails, the inside of my mouth… I chew, a lot, when my heart is racing. But my mind, races along for the ride as well.

What do you say to someone who thinks too much? I hear it a lot. “Don’t think about it”, Let it go” Coming from someone who is not in the exact same mental space as me, this sounds like fun, but not something realistically attainable. Like right now, while I am typing this, on the side, I am thinking about how I can pull big words out of my butt and type them in a matter of seconds, but when I am forming simple sentences, I can’t seem to spit the words out I want to say. I roll my eyes around in my head, hoping the word will come, and when it doesn’t I retreat from trying and use a less fancy word, and then brew over how that word did not properly portray what I was trying to convey.

I look pretty normal to the outside world. But on the inside, that’s where the crazy party is. Sometimes I will start talking and Steve won’t have a clue what I am talking about because the first half of the thought occurred only in my mind, and by the time my lips caught up with the cue to speak, I was half way done saying what I wanted to say. I am not a ‘fast talker’ though, I am not a jabber box, and I am not a chatty Kathy. I’m telling you, I seem normal. What ever that means!

Bah, sounds exhausting eh? It is. It is.

I have a deep plummeting witch’s brew of inherited genetic information from my parents that has given me all these complexes, I’m sure. I am even now, still figuring myself out, and trying to separate who I really am, from who I was born being. The ultimate study of Nature vs. Nurture. If you are not familiar with this concept you could look up my Grade 12 English teacher and he might make you write an essay on it. But basically it is the comparison of two theories. The theory of Nature being that we are born who we are. And the theory of Nurture being that we are who we are based on our upbringing and society itself. Cool eh? I think I am 50/50 or 40/60. There are a lot of daily contributing factors to my opinion on this topic.

The thoughts I have, though plentiful, are organized. They don’t sound like static, or bump into each other in my mind; I am too organized for that to happen. I think the strength of my organizational skills stems from almost a quarter century of colour coding and filing my thoughts and memories like ‘areas of interest’, and ‘thoughts on the go’. I wish I had a mental recycling bin, that with a click of a button, I could empty at will. Because I never forget, anything, ever. Don’t judge, it’s got me this far and if I could stop it, I would. I am tough, because I have learned from all those things I have never forgotten. I probably mull over those old thoughts once and while, debate over the results, and then tuck them back into their folders to grow dusty while a new days worth of thoughts and memories floods in.

You wonder how I get anything done. Me too.

What was I talking about when I started this?

And yet with all this mental yammering it is clear to me what things are most important in my life. I make time for the small things. I take time for things. I feel no guilt for putting my time where it is needed. I think about the people I love more than anything else. Sometimes even, the thoughts I fight give me a greater appreciation for the thoughts I love. The thoughts I love are my own. They are not in a file; they float, behind my eyes. So when I look out into the world, the thoughts I love tint the world a sunny shade of goodness, which guides me through my days with ease.

Maybe I have an odd balance, and maybe that odd balance makes me who I am. Maybe is all I need. Because there is still so much more to think about.

Shiny new things!

2008-05-15T09:00:00.000-07:00

Stainless steel is my best friend, its shiny, sleek, sexy and clean! This Mothers day my Mom surprised 'me' with a gift of this great electric mixer (which also comes with a whisk attachment). Its funny because I have been making alot of merigune lately and groaning over the fact that whisking fluffy peaks by hand is probably as energy consuming and exhausting as climbing Mt. Everst! And then BOOM, my Mom hands me a mixer! Its a sign! I must be destined to master the art of whipping egg whites, and this is the tool I shall use to accomplish this great goal!

#1 Read instructions
#2 Turn on to see how fast speed level 1 is
#3 Get scared at how fast it is and hang mouth wide open at the fact that it can get even faster!
#4 Mix brownie batter
#5 Turn mixer up to speed level 5 and SCREAM at how fast it is!
#6 Unplug, lick batter off mixers and smile at my new toy

I usually fold all the ingredients together gently until just combined, which help them cook up all fluffy, but I HAD to use my new toy!

I will add the recipe for these brownies tonight!

I love my Ontario!

2008-05-13T14:09:00.000-07:00

Fresh & Locally grown, Asparagus and Sweet Potatoes!

I have been secretly envious of everyone who has been eating fresh local asparagus but couldn't seem to find some for myself. On Mothers day Steve and I drove by a little sign saying "Fresh home grown asparagus" but it was raining so we didn't bother. While driving away I felt the longing in my tummy.

Today, I found some. At a little road side building in Ancaster. Hand written signs on the door, say 'Cash Only Please', and once through the door, I found a little sign saying 'Press the button for service'. I pressed the little button twice because I didn't hear anything the first time, then was distracted by the produce. It is still early in the season, here in Ontario, so there were the basic root veggies, and potatoes, but also what I was looking for... ASPARAGUS. I swear I whispered it under my breath, to excited to contain the thought, it slipped out. The button must have donged somewhere because an older man, clearly a farmer himself, walked over to help me. I had to tell him how amazing the asparagus looked, and he began to tell me a storey of when he was a kid he'd bite the tops off all the asparagus in his Mom's garden, without picking them, making her believe rabbits or some other critter was to blame. He just loved the tops!

It felt good, to see vegetables still a little dirty from the garden, piled on a simple table in an open building also housing a tractor and other equipment. Hand written signs, $4, $3, no calculators or cash registers, no sales tax or middle man to pay off. The money I paid went straight to the farmer.

I am going to cook these veggies, only enough to soften them, because I want their freshness
to linger in our mouths, while we absorb the greatness they contain.

EAT LOCAL. EAT FRESH. EAT GOOD

meat machine

2008-05-09T06:59:00.000-07:00

I stumbled across this image while surfing the net today, and It struck me as hilarious. It seems to be a helpful guideline on food styling a burger. And I bet this is supposed to be a "fast food" burger, because there are some pretty perfect looking fries tucked into the background of the bun.

I think these guidelines would be more useful in the future when robots are working behind the counter at Mc Donalds. They can look at this photo and see what a burger should look like for human consumption. "Beep... sprtiz water... grill marks... click... beep"

or

Maybe you will just walk up to an ATM type machine, press in your order, quick swipe of you plastic card of choice and boop bleep beep beep, your meal with drop into a handy tray for your consumption. That means the computer will need this photo as part of their 'make man food' software package.

Sometimes i scare myself

Magnum from Outerspace

2008-05-06T04:51:00.000-07:00

I bought this painting this morning, at 7:45am, while at work, while shopping for a friends birthday present. I bought it off etsy.com

This painting and I... we made contact! You could say "first contact" And I didn't buy just a print of it, oh no, I'm receiving the ACTUAL PAINTING!

The title of this post is the name of this painting. It is only 4"x4" and yet, it is one of the greatest pieces of art I may ever buy.

The apartment I share with Steve is filled with colour and life and items that are "ours". They don't all match up like lines on a page. But each item makes us smile. Steve has a carved wooden monkey face with earrings that watches me cook, mounted under the clock, next to the stove, and I now have a green alien staring down from space!

I say pashaw ( with a mocking hand flap) to those poor souls who mindlessly shop at places like pier-one imports for those "in style" decorating items... Matching striped vases for the end tables, wicker balls piled into a large bowl for the coffee table... BLAH!

We have paintings in odd places, paintings that don't match, posters in large frames that may as well be paintings. We have masks, and statues and photos. And the kitchen, if I described it to you, would sound like a flea market. But our apartment is very minimalist, but cozy. No clutter, no useless items. What little furniture we have is used to its fullest every day. Our love seat couch is on wheels, so we can roll it to where it is needed, and that is not at all weird to us!
The things we have collected go everywhere, we don't feng-shuai our living room, we hang and place items where we like to look at them. A staue of a woman in lotus pose on the kitchen window sill. A ceramin 3-D sign of the word LAUGH, hung at chest level on the wall behind the sink. I look at it, and smile, it has served its purpose!

And do you know what this painting did to me, that made me buy it, snap it up, so to speak?

It made me smile and 'awe' with childlike wonder.

It stood out, and made me giggle, and smirk and laugh. It is a green alien in space! It looks like an illustration in a children's storey book.

This summer I will be 25 years old. And for once I finally feel the meaning, of "young at heart". No matter how many years your body ages, your mind stays as young and fresh as you want it to be.

My lesson of the day, Be yourself and buy the alien painting if it makes you smile! :-)

What more can I say?

2008-04-24T06:53:00.000-07:00

My Name is Adele Lynn Oliver. I live in Hamilton, Ontario with my beloved partner Steve, and our kitty Coltrane. Our apartment is small but colourful on a street with barely any parking. I am the Senior Customer Service Rep for a private jet charter company, I organize people’s lives and keep everything else organized and stocked. Who am I really? I think I was a Chef in a past life, or a fish, I could do both equally well.

Born into a typical family structure, Mom, Dad and Brother. I liked mud, and playing outside, dress up and lying. I lied, because I liked to colour on walls and suck random objects up into the central vac system. I broke my arm at 6 yrs old, hated track and field from the get go, and found that public school was NOT for anyone who stands out.

I graduated College with a Diploma in Outdoor Adventure. I pierced everything I could, and then took them all out. I have a ½ sleeve tattoo among others. I have 0 gauge wooden plugs in my ears. I only show 1/8 of my personality at work, because mainstream business, has not modernized itself enough to incorporate modern-day urbanized citizens into their workforce. Yeah, that’s right!

Growing up every summer was a different job, single serving lodging. I’ve been a farm hand, Ontario Ranger, Boat Tech, Kitchen girl, Raft Guide, Rock climbing Instructor, and Deli Manager. After college, on a whim, I quit my job and flew to Taiwan to be an English teacher. After escaping psychological trauma from an under-medicated psycho roommate, I had an amazing time. Bought a scooter, saw the sights, rode the trains, navigated the markets and loved the food! I hope one day to return.

I’ve met a lot of people in my life who were a waste of time, and alot of people who have made my world a better place to be. I go to the gym 5 days a week, get angry at bad drivers, and talk to myself a lot. I battle with my weight, my demons and annyoing people everyday.

I write a blog about food, because that is where my heart is. I am an environmentalist so if you don’t recycle, stay the hell away from me, because you’re going to get a piece of my mind. I am turning 25 this year, and a quarter century has taught me to screw dealing with time wasters, and just enjoy every moment.

I’m weird, I’m me. I’m a vegetarian because eating meat creates HUGE amounts of green house gases. I am dairy intolerant. I love chocolate, guacamole, soup and wine. I don’t subscribe to TV; I don’t eat fast-food. I don’t wear cover-up, I don’t paint my nails and I break the law everyday of the week! I am artistic, creative and love to use movie quotes as my own. I like comedy, and comedians and I think everybody needs to lighten the hell up!

Sunday dinner with Friends

2008-04-22T14:51:00.000-07:00

Spicy roasted eggplant and green peppers!

Steph and Jay were our guests on Sunday, except 'they' cooked 'us' dinner! Well, Steph did all the cooking that night. The rest of us sat and enjoyed a fresh coffee, from our in house Barrister, Steve.

Steph in action & Steve in action

Steph arrived with almost everything prepped, like a good cook. And without much more than a glance at a Whole Foods cook book, the flurry of her cooking began before our eyes. Watching her in my kitchen, I felt like I was watching myself. Wondering if that is how I looked while doing the dance of cooking. Steph had never cooked in my kitchen before, and yet she moved like fluid from one counter to the next, from one dish to the next... Me, silently watching in awe.

Our apartment just happened to be a great place for this dinner to happen, and we were more than happy to have their company.

Steph and I met through work about 3 years ago, we both c0-managed a health food store kitchen together, and found that we may have been separated at birth, a few years and 1 day apart! And it just so happened that our guys get along together like peas and carrots. We both have new jobs but can't seem to get away from each other.

While everything marinated and mixed in the fridge, we scooted off to the park for a game of Frisbee. Which got serious, when we started to compete for the most passes without dropping the Frisbee. 32 times the Frisbee was passed between 4 people, probably 20 feet apart!

Jay and Steve probably talking about fish

These guys love fish! They talk about it like little kids in a sandbox, squatted down infront of the tank, smiling faces and nodding heads, they could sit and stare and talk for hours, if we let them! ha ha ha

Spinach & Sundried tomato Tilapia, Summer Pasta salad and Spicy roasted Eggplant toss

Viola, this was a meal to remember! It was our kick-start to summer, and a really great time with friends! There is nothing better than sharing a meal with the people you enjoy to be with.

Corn Bread

2008-04-05T08:52:00.001-07:00

Saturday Morning Cornbread

These little loaves came hot out of the oven, sliced in half, smoothed over with organic butter, and dipped into our eggs, to start a wonderful weekend! Mmmmmmm

Delicious food and sunny skies

2008-04-05T08:02:00.000-07:00

Thai Coconut Squash soup over Rice Stick noodles

Steve and I are doing a Candida Cleanse to start off the new season. Which means for the first 10 days of our Cleanse (started April 1st) our diet is limited a fair bit. So the things we can eat, are a celebration, and last night it was our beloved Thai Coconut Squash Soup. I omitted the sugar and fish sauce and Viola! I also added 3, chopped up, leaves of bok choy for some 'greenness'.

This 30 day cleanse is pretty simple, but it requires dedication and planning because I can't just eat anything-anywhere. I like a challenge!

This morning, I got up quite early, though naturally, and managed to get some company on my run around the neighbourhood. It is a beautiful day here and so far, not a cloud in the sky. Next thing on the list, eat a wonderful breakfast!

All week I have been eating kamut puffs with almond milk for breakfast and I have to say, it is lacking in taste and entertainment. But I give myself NO time in the morning to make breakfast so Saturday's slow morning is a Delight!

OUT OF BREAD? What was I going to dip in my eggs?

Cornbread hit the spot!

I try to always keep a stocked pantry for times like this. If you have a few cookbooks and the basic pantry elements, you never need to worry about "what am I going to eat" because the possibilities are endless.

I made my cornbread into mini loaves, so any leftovers could be easily wrapped up for lunches. Plus the best part of cornbread is the crunchy crust, and you have 6 sides of crunchy with these little loaves!

I don't know where I got this recipe but its tried, tested and true!

Corn Bread

1 1/4 cup Cornmeal ( I use Bobs Red Mill 100% stone ground, medium grind)
3/4 cup Spelt Flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
2 eggs
1 1/2 cup Almond Milk
2 tbsp olive oil

-Preheat Oven to 375 degrees F
- Sift dry together
- Whisk wet together
- Add the wet to the dry mixture.
- Fold ingredients together gently just until mixed. The less you mix the more they will puff

Pour into an oiled 8" cake pan and bake for 25-30 mins.
or
Pour 1/2 cup scoops into an oiled mini loaf pan. Bake for 20 mins. Makes 6 loaves.

I have a great photo of Cornbread, I will add as another post, it does not want to add itself to this post.

Enjoy your weekend!

Steve cooks Breaky!

2008-03-30T07:26:00.000-07:00

Bob's Redmill Waffles with blueberry maple syrup compote

This morning we have alot to do. Laundry is going round and round downstairs, the vacuum is buzzing. It seems there is never enough time on the weekend to do 'what you want' and 'what you need' to do. Yesterday we went for a beautiful walk at Princess point with some friends and their doggies, and today Steve's sisters family is coming to town.

But this morning is special, because Steve made waffles. Fluffy and perfectly formed.

This is a photo of his decadent pile. Eaten double-decker style with warm blueberries popping with every bite. I will only have one, with 2 poached eggs on top. I don't want to eat too much, because I really want a bowl of left-over Fish chowder for lunch, so I have to save room!

Salmon and Tilapia fish chowder

Dairy Free!

This soup was based upon this recipe by Michael Scott, but I adapted it for my budget and dairy free needs. Almond Milk and Silk (soy milk), made this deliciously creamy soup. And i didn't have to worry about it being thick enough, because the recipe calls for a baking potato to be grated in, so I grated in 2 potatoes, for extra thickness.

I just really wanted to eat fresh Dill weed!

Have a great Sunday!

Lets ketchup on past photos!

2008-03-27T14:59:00.001-07:00

Spinach and tofu stuffed shells with pesto and rice cheese

I was very fortunate to find out I was dairy intolerant while working in a health food store, where there was an abundance of dairy-free choices and an abundance of people who know what its like. Rice cheese found at Fortinos in the health food section fridge, "Rice" brand Cheddar flavour, is pretty good. I don't care for vegan cheese, I'm not vegan. Earth brand is my new favourite, with a nacho flavour soy cheese that is outta this world!

Impromptu Quinoa stew in a big crusty roll-bowl with a side of avocado

Baked salmon with mango salsa and a side of avocado

Steve saw a recipe for this in a magazine and it really spurred his interest. Unfortunately the salmon was supposed to be dressed up alot more ( we were lacking in ingredients) , but the salsa part of the recipe turned out great! And if avocados are ripe we eat them often!

Nostalgic Dirt Pudding

My Mom used to make this when I was a kid and it was the greatest thing ever! Now that I am all grown up and dairy free, I had to make some changes but this first attempt was a hit! Our friend Jessalyn was having a birthday party so it just seemed right.

Dirt Pudding Ingredients:

- Soy chocolate pudding (already prepared in individual cups, in health food section)
- Nutri-whip
- Chocolate cookies, crumbled
- Chocolate covered peanuts, raisins
- Mini butterscotch chips
- Gummy worms, snakes
- Clear plastic cocktail glasses
- Any other creepy crawly things you'd find in the dirt. Plastic spiders etc.

Directions:

- Chill a medium sized metal/glass/ceramic bowl in the freezer for about 10 mins, while you are preparing the rest of the ingredients. (This is for the Nutri-Whip)

- Depending on how many you are serving, set the cups out in rows. This will make it fast and easy to do them all at the same time.

- Whip the Nutri-Whip in the chilled bowl, on high speed, until light and fluffy.

- Place a gummy worm in the bottom of each cup, then layer a little of each ingredient. Make sure each ingredient touches the side of the cup, this will make a cool layered effect you will see through the cup.

- This is an excellent activity to do with kids. Prepare all ingredients in separate bowls and have them dig in!

The worm at the bottom is a final surprise!

Food is in Camoflage!

2008-03-11T06:37:00.000-07:00

Food has always been the centre of the world for me.

And still is, I should add. What should I eat, when , how much? My attraction to food goes far beyond Love and sometimes into the depths of hate.

Being a curvy, mid 20's girl. I do not feel the same pressure I did in high school for a slim body that looks perfect in anything from sweat pants to 'skinny jeans'. But those years of worry are still camped out in my brain influencing my opinions of myself even today!

More to the point, FOOD has given me my shape today. It is only over the past 5 years that I have learned of the plague of white flour and sugar that found its way into my system. So today, when I slave away at the gym 5 days a week, I am battling against years of built up weight. Sometimes I feel like saying "Where do I begin?" there is just so much to lose! Then I slap myself, and say "Thank god my biggest worry is how big my butt looks in pants" I have been 'blessed' with a healthy body and a healthy lifestyle.

Then why is it, I worry about food? Because it makes me... curvy.

If you want to be healthy today, on a minimum wage salary, you have to be educated. If I had to guesstimate, I'd say I spend at least 6 hours a day, reading, learning and practicing a healthy lifestyle.

FOOD, is in camouflage!

The camouflage is the packaging. And everything that is packaged, has been handled, processed in some way which takes time. Time is the enemy of freshness, so some man made ingredient usually gets sprinkled in.

Think about it, you are an animal. If you put something into your body that nature didn't make, than how is your body going to know what the hell it is? If it doesn't know what it is, it can treat it as poison, in turn releasing a series of side effects which you may not even notice. Like, energy loss, indigestion, fatigue, headaches etc. You may experience these effects all the time, would you ever link them to what you just ate?

What is bubbling away in your tummy right now?

These poisons have really fluffy names too, like Splenda! Doesn't it just roll off the tongue? You know all those ingredients you can't read on the label? Well if you're over the age of 12 and you can't pronounce something that is in your pudding cup, then its "poison". Its Man made, no good, skip it! Go to Google, type in Dairy free chocolate pudding, find one, get the ingredients, make it. ENJOY. Wow, that was way harder and involved more dishes then pulling off the lid of a jello cup. And here lies another stumbling point, and road block for those who say "I can't cook" or "I don't have time" Make time, its your fuel we are talking about!

I always had loads of problems with my tummy, which spurred my interest in learning about food in more depth. But what about those iron gullets out there, that find anything under the sun edible and good food? Those folks fuel the grocery store aisles! They buy the quick microwave meals, the Omega Fat infused Oreo cookies and forgo the ingestion of Vitamins or supplements, because 2 slices of Wonder bread have added vitamins and minerals, eat those instead!

I feel so strongly about eating the right foods, and yet I can say that I ate an A&W veggie burger and fries the other week and it was DELICIOUS! Crap! If this was a game show I'd be voted off for joining the other alliance and leaving my healthy food alliance behind!

Most animals won't eat crap they are not supposed to (some dogs excepted, Sherman, my parents dog, ate Venetian blinds once or twice) But seriously, why are we a species that shoves anything that smells good into our mouths? Why do we market food that is killing our species with obesity? On Wikipedia, I found this Stat. on mindless eating "People make nearly 20 times more daily decisions about food than they are aware of (an average of around 250 each day)." That's a huge amount of thinking, why not make those daily decisions positive ones!

Lets band together with the other millions of people who know that the "green health check" symbol on packaged food in bull s*%t! and that all other food propaganda in nonsense!

Grow a garden or join a community garden! Limit your Aisle shopping and stick to the produce section. Stock your pantry with spices, beans, grains, caned tomatoes etc. so you always have the ability to cook, and you aren't reaching for the take-out menu!

I think one of the major goals in my life is to learn as much as I can about healthy living and practice it every day. My mantra will be "What goes in my body feeds my mind, body and soul"

Here's to seeing through the Camouflage!

Cartoons Compliments of Shoe Box, a division of Hallmark.

Things are coming up Milhouse!!!

2008-03-09T19:29:00.001-07:00

So yesterday was my 2 year Anniversary with Steve!

It was a day of love and cuddling, and staying off the roads, which were starting to resemble sled-dog trails.

Usually I would jump at the chance to cook a really great dinner, but it just felt like a night to brave the wild weather and walk to a restaurant. Some Internet surfing and 2 phone calls later, our first 2 "NEW" restaurant choices were closed 'due to bad weather'. But never fear, the sushi place was open, just a few blocks away, crisis adverted!

It was a bundled walk but we made it, and warmed up with warm sake. Which Steve did not particularly like. None the less, he made a valid effort to finish the almost 4 ounces.

This night was just like any other night, because I spent it with my Best Friend, Steve. Every moment we spend together is better than the last. I have been 'blessed' in a way, in some shape or form, with the best company, love and friendship that could ever be found. There are a dozen cheesy songs, and a hundred hallmark cards that I could quote to express my feelings for Steve, but he knows them. And that is all that matters

Later that night, while enjoying a bottle of our favorite wine, Geurtz something or other, I had to mention that Coltrane should really be part of this event.

This little 'monkey man' has captivated my heart for the last 2 years as well. Though it took a little longer to get to know him than Steve, the language barrier never seemed to be a problem... I can meow really good now!

This is just a little blog to commemorate this day and the giant garden of Love I have for Steve.

Happy 2 year Steve! I Love You!

Wishes on eye lashes

2008-02-11T14:32:00.000-08:00

I guess everyone has the winter blues, when inspiration is at a low and the clouds just will not part ways for the sun.

So... I got a haircut.

It funny how a single haircut can make or break you. This one made me. I feel great, my head feels light, my shoulders are bare and defined, my neck is exposed. There is something invigorating about a a great hair cut. My cut unmasked me, for my own eyes to see me.

A feeling of beauty, being beautiful, only come from inside. I am in search of my true inner beauty. My progress is going slowly, but I can feel each step change my perception of myself. I want to feel my inner beauty shinning, even on the dullest days. I want to 'know' who I am.

I think I'm great, but its been almost 25 years of getting to know myself. I learn about myself even from reliving memories, or telling stories of my past. Its like seeing myself as a character in a book, and I've found that I like the character I'm talking about.

These are the things I am learning. I will always be learning. But there are lots of things I already know about myself, thank goodness, which I build on everyday. I've learned I like writing things down. I don't always go back and read the things, but I have a need to be able to put pen to paper. So I bring a journal with me everywhere I go. Simple things, i do for myself. I try to take care of myself. I like being my friend, I am good company for myself.

I am known to take a lot of photos of myself too, and I look in the mirror alot. I know you may be thinking that I must be really obsessed with what I look like... But thats not it at all, and I have only in the last few years realized what I am doing... I am looking at a smile. A great big smile on a face i've learned to love.

You are taught stuff in school, but 'school' is just a tool to teach you that you need to want to learn, for your whole life.

I wish I knew, without a doubt, who I am. But that would just be wishing on eyelashes. So I will learn who I am.

With that knowledge, I think I will be o.k. Free to roam the lands, to seek out new things to learn about.

Learn one thing new everyday: Today I will learn how to cook with fennel seeds.

sweet bananas thats good!

2008-02-04T14:05:00.001-08:00

This is what pure sweetness looks like.

This weekend, I made cookies. Plain chocolate chip but with a very ripe banana. I mashed it in with the wet ingredients and cut the suggested sugar in half. I ultimately made, banada bread cookies. They were way better than I had imagined, and even softer than I had dreamed. They reminded me of my Moms banana chocolate chip muffin tops. She would plop down spoonfulls of banana bread onto a cookie sheet, and bake them like cookies. They were delicious, the taste of banana bread, the shape of a cookie, with the toasty brown edges of a muffin top.

Mmmmmmmm

This is comfort food, the kind of food you eat with your eyes closed and it tastes just as good. Comfort...even the word emits good feelings, good memories. Everyone has their own sense of comfort, and where they draw those feelings from.

This is Steve

Steve is a constant source of comfort for me. On a daily basis I bask in it. He is the light at the end of every tunnel, and for some reason, I pass through alot of tunnels in life. He is a Personal Trainer by profession, a Yogi at heart and the greatest guy I have ever known. We are coming up to 2 years in March, but that would be counting back.

I would like to count forward

To cherish every day that is approaching. I smile, because that it at least what I do in terms of cooking. There are not enough days in the week, to cook all the things I have recipes for. I have hundreds of recipes just waiting for their day. I should take a lesson from that way of thinking. I will ponder that thought, while eating a banana chocolate chip cookie.

Adapted from a recipe for Chocolate chip cookies from The Ultimate Healthy Eating Plan

Banana Chocolate Chip Cookies

1/2 cup margarine
1/2 cup sucanat (or brown sugar)
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup PC semi sweet decadent chocolate chip (they are the best!)
1 very ripe banana

1 1/2 cups spelt flour (or all-purpose)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp nutmeg

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F
In a large bowl mix all the wet'ish ingredients together. Break up that banana!
Sift the flour,nutmeg and baking soda together over the wet and stir it all together.
Using 2 spoons, scoop and shape the dough into balls, by passing the dough back and forth between the spoons. (This is fun)
Place them anywhere on a baking sheet, because they don't spread out at all.
Bake for 10-15 minutes depending on how soft you would like them.

ENJOY!

COFFEE for me!

2008-02-02T12:40:00.001-08:00

It takes a little bit of time to make a great coffee. In our apartment we grind our Kicking Horse beans, then pack the expresso pot. We froth the Almond Milk to a heavenly foam and I stir in some raw honey. Now this is worth the time!

This is the only way we drink coffee, other than going to Second Cup or Starbucks. For me, I only drink coffee from those places because they have soy milk available. It helps that those coffee shops have nice interiors with comfy chairs, but really, a coffee just isn't a coffee without milk.

These 'fancy' coffee's Steve and I make here, at home, are not your average Cup o' Joe. We wouldn't drink cup after cup mindlessly, oh no! In the effort of making them, lies the relaxation of enjoying them. Each foamy cup is something to cherish. From the first cool milk bubbles popping on our nose, to the smooth hot finish of good, dark, coffee. Our minds are completely captivated.

Steve drinks far more coffee than me. Being that he has far more time in his morning routine, than I allow myself. I only drink decaffinated too. Even the smallest amount of caffeine turns me into a bit of a looney, biting all my nails off, tapping my feet, oh its not fun. That is the great things about de-caf, no side effects! It's funny that the 'kick' of caffeine is what most look for in the hot brew. No thanks!

Coffee is one of those things that took me a while to appreciate, but a lifetime left to enjoy.

No need for speed!

2008-02-01T13:19:00.000-08:00

It was "empty out the freezer" for dinner last night.

My mini household Alaska has all sorts of goodies, liquor, chocolate, ripe bananas, nuts and the classic ice-cubes. But I've got my eye on some soupy frozen delights. A frozen plastic tub of diced tomatoes, and another of veggie broth. Some frozen peas, the last of the chicken in our house (we are beginning a vegetarian diet tomorrow) and a delicious soup is in the works.

I love cooking soup, always have. There is something so simply elegant about soup, the way it warms you from the inside out and warms your hands while you're holding it. Each deep inhale, with your head directly over the steam and you feel the energy of the food enter your mind. The vegetables give into the warmth as well, releasing their often hidden flavours, and softening in delight.

Oh but sometimes that pot starts to boil, I don't want it to get that excited, soup should be simmered, not waited for in haste, but set to simmer while other relaxing things are done, like writing or reading.

Quiet soup
1/2 turnip, peeled and cubed
3 stalks celery, chopped wildly
4 cloves of garlic
1 cup frozen peas
1 bay leaf
lots of fresh ground black pepper, because i like it alot
big pinch of basil
little pinch of thyme
1/2 cup, dry, Quinoa (little gluten free grain)
4 chicken thighs , cooked first
2 cups diced tomatoes
2 cups veggie broth
extra water if you want it 'soupy' more than 'stewy'

But soup isn't boring, shouldn't be, couldn't be, and wasn't last night! Even if this soup was the best thing I had ever tasted, I wouldn't write it down anywhere because the next soup will be really good too. The only soup I have ever used a recipe for is Thai Squash and Coconut Soup with Shrimp and this is only because I 'WANT it to taste the same every time. Steve even said it was the best soup he had ever had in his life. I can't be that definitive, but its damn good!

***

It was Thursday night when I started this post. I was still in my work-out clothes, pondering the idea of doing some laundry, but mostly looking forward to the snow storm that, fingers crossed, would strand me on my un-plowable side street so I didn't have to go to work.

A girl can dream, and eat soup!

Here I am, Friday, my dream came true, I am stranded at home. Eating a bowl of reheated soup and a toasted bagel. Reading all morning, watching my sleepy kitty lounge on the table. Spending an entire day with him at my side, as we both stare out the window, each snowflake falling with wild excitement.

A tribute to a dear old frying pan

2008-01-29T15:03:00.001-08:00

A new frying pan is like a crisp, blank sheet of paper. I stood for a few minutes just staring at mine. What should I cook first? Risotto, eggs, crepes?

A Frying pan lives a hard life. Especially in our kitchen. One lonely non-stick pan has graced our stove for a full year now. It was a normal occurrence to wash it 2 or 3 times a day, only to have it dirty in the sink the next morning. I can tell just by looking at it, how much food has passed through its curves. The scorching of grease on the left side, the slice through the Teflon,even though I was trying to be really careful. The pan was a gift from a great cook and friend, but the Teflon is peeling so life must go on.

a few moments of silence..

Such a great frying pan, I had to replace it with two! One is deep, for risotto's and doubles as a wok, while the other is smaller for pan frying meat and frying up some eggs for breaky. Tonight I have left over Pad Thai, and I can't think of a better dish to start with.

Cooking or "adventuring into the culinary unknown" is my stress relief. When there are spice combinations buzzing around my mind and veggies sizzling in a pan, I am in heaven. But once and while we pack up our appetites and hit the road. Last night our favorite Viet-Thai place called to us, so we drove! Heaping plates of noodles and the best spring rolls in town became our delicious Monday night dinner.

By "culinary unknown" I mean going without a recipe. I think everyone should, at some point. I started when I was really really young, so I got alot of the mistakes and mismatched flavours out the way early on. I only make terrible dinners once and a while now. And I will admit it openly, when I think a creation of mine, isn't all that good. That is all part of cooking. Cooking takes practice like everything else.

This week, on Friday, Steve and I are going to try Vegetarianism, just to see how we feel. Maybe our bodies with have more energy, maybe we will sleep better, or maybe we will simply eat alot more tofu than usual. Who knows, life is an adventure, and my adventures always have a little food in the background!

This is going to be a good week!

Sushi

2008-01-27T07:07:00.000-08:00

“In Mexico we have a word for sushi: Bait” - Jose Simon

Bring me plate after plate after plate! I never lose my appetite for sushi, even after nights when I cringe at the thought of putting another piece in my mouth. Somehow, somewhere, the craving sneaks up on me. From the faintest aroma of rice cooking, I have crispy spicy rolls dancing around in my head. Words like 'Spider roll' 'Green dragon' bring drool to my lips, the colour of pink ginger and bright green wasabi, tease the soy sauce out of hiding and into my dipping bowl.

Sushi to me, began in Taiwan. I was teaching English there, and fell in love with a place we liked to call "The Sushi Train". You walked in and sat down on a stool in front of a large conveyor belt. The magic began in the kitchen where plates of fresh sushi were placed on the belt, with little clear lids, which wound their way around the small space, passing by everyone with wide eyes. Everything was on the same small, white plates and each plate was the same price. You just take what you want as it passed by. On your way out, the cashier simply counted the plates in your stack, which for me was usually 7, and with some simple math, you were out the door. Fresh, hand-made and delicious.

Sushi is an art, and one that I can appreciate even more, after Steve and I began rolling it, one night for dinner.

For Christmas, our beloved, sushi loving friends, gave us almost everything we needed to begin. All we needed was fresh ingredients and a rice cooker, because sticky rice is serious business! A quick trip out-and-about and we were ready. 4 hands and a small counter top made it kinda tedious but with a little patch work, we had some surprisingly excellent looking sushi.

Laughing and frowning our eager eyes gazed at the pages of photos and descriptions on how to roll the perfect roll. Inside out roll? Why not! California rolls and smoked salmon/avocado rolls revealed themselves before our eyes. The rice was sticky, the technique was tricky, but it was so much fun!

Gigantic was to put it mildly...next time...less rice!

Saturday Night in the city

2008-01-26T12:42:00.001-08:00

Sometimes nothing can be better, than an astonishing dinner, made out of now where.

This is where I was tonight, whilst staring mindlessly at a half eaten stale loaf of chibatta bread.

What I didn't know, was that my mind was secretly stiring up a delicious recipe, gathering information, from my years of recipe hunting.

Side note: I hunt every day for recipes, on line, in newspapers, inside labels and boxes of my favorite pantry supplies. I believe, I am searching for the perfect recipe, the one recipe to rule them all. But enough about that...

There I was, chopping the bread with my chef knife, wishing I had a chainsaw instead, damn this bread gets hard! Whisking the 5 eggs and 4 cups of almond milk. Chopping a medium sized zucchini, 7 stalk of asparagus and 2 roasted red peppers. Thyme, pepper, sea salt, cayenne, cardamom? oh yeah!Salt, pepper, garlic you know the drill! Were all lunging off the shelf and basking in the milk and egg mixture. All mixed together, and poured into a spring form pan, 350 degrees later I was setting a timer for 1 and half hours! Oh My Goodness! Dinner had begun!

Chicken thighs haven't always been my favorite, but skinless and boneless, looked tempting at the market. And it was quite exciting when brandy and marmalade made their way into the mix. A simple baby spinach salad and balsamic dressing, my astonishing dinner had arrived.

I call it Chibatta veggie 'souffle' (that word sounds fancy), and I will relish it for lunch tomorrow as well!
I never thought very far ahead when I quit dairy. But if I had, I probably would still not have known how simple it is to remove and replace dairy from every meal.

The possibilities are endless, and this is where I begin.